Wednesday, February 23, 2005


I looked as he opened the first seal, that which closed the bread. Reaching in, he withdrew two slices and placed them upon his plate. Then he broke the second seal, freeing the ham from its prison. Smoked ham it was, from the black forest. This ham was carefully laid upon one of the slices of bread. The third seal was then broken, and cheese was loosed upon the world. A powerful swiss cheese it was indeed. Taming the power of the cheese, he sliced it and put the slices on the ham. Then I watched as he broke the fourth seal, channeling all that was mustard unto the ages and upon the other slice, the naked slice of bread. Thus clothed in mustard, it was laid upon the cheese, upon the ham, upon the other bread. Yea, verily, a sandwich had been formed.

His work was not complete, however. He took that sandwich and placed it within his microwave, heating it for twenty seconds on high. Finally, withdrawing the now warm sandwich from the microwave, he spaketh unto all the creatures of the land, the birds of the air and the fish under the sea, "I am destined to eat this sandwich."

And eat it he did, oh yes, eat it he did.